Engagement and Submitting Self
Submission- This is what we all do (both men and women) in school, at work, in families, and within the laws of government. This concept cannot just be seen from a male/female dominant and submissive (sometimes chauvinistic) lens. This word implies being able to follow a set of rules, even the boundaries that a person sets for themselves, for a greater desired outcome. For instance, we can all submit to our own schedules for maximum productivity. For unity and teamwork, people have to be willing to submit to something other than just themselves, like goals or the greater good of the group.
While submission is a biblical and logical idea as long as respect and wisdom are present, people should not submit to those who are not worthy of leadership positions. For example, submission does not make sense early in the dating process, among immature friends/family/co-workers, or unto those who are not God-fearing. People who are walking in their PURPOSE and understanding of themselves and their Higher Powers can then discern who is worthy of submission in appropriate circumstances, understanding that God is the only one deserving of all of the glory, praise, respect, and obedience. Purpose is important because if not careful, believers can be attracted to the deamons in eachother. Personal deamons may include negative powers including the topics of: abuse (molestation, assault, rape, torment, emotional degradation), fear (anxiety, panic, worry, imagination, depression), rejection (loneliness, abandonment, isolation), rebellion (stubbornness, will-fullness, anti-obedience), sickness & disease, lust, anger (unforgiving, control, possessiveness, manipulation, rage, punitive), lack (never enough, poverty, struggle, strain), pride (resistance, refuse correction, arrogance, selfish, self centered, ego), and shame (condemnation, hiding, secrets, less than.) In my opinion, as far as courting, engagement, and marriage is concerned, both partners must be willing to submit to the agreement made under God and the government to have a successful union where both parties are able to THRIVE rather than just survive. Both partners must yield to and serve each other. Love, commitment and companionship cannot be a one way street. There are levels to the concept of submission and it is a two way, but a three dimensional action: and God serves as the intermediary factor.
Reference text:
Submission: "inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient."
“The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord. And it is good for people to submit at an early age to the yoke of his discipline:” Lamentations 3:25-27 NLT “Remind the believers to submit to the government and its officers. They should be obedient, always ready to do what is good.” Titus 3:1 NLT
“Do not be stubborn, as they were, but submit yourselves to the Lord. Come to his Temple, which he has set apart as holy forever. Worship the Lord your God so that his fierce anger will turn away from you.” 2 Chronicles 30:8 NLT “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:21-33 NLT “For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do. Women should learn quietly and submissively. I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly. For God made Adam first, and afterward he made Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived, and sin was the result. But women will be saved through childbearing, assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty.” 1 Timothy 2:10-15 NLT
If YOU have a desire in your heart to be married and have consulted God about His plan for your life, please read this prayer that I myself read when desiring a godly spouse:
"LORD, you are my ultimate source of love, companionship, and friendship. I ask for divine connections that have been ordained by you in the name of Jesus. I ask and receive, by faith, discernment for developing and nurturing healthy relationships. Your Word says that two are better than one, because if one falls, there will be someone to lift that person up. Bring the right people into my life and strengthen my current connections by the blood of Jesus!
"I renounce and break all evil curses and bewitchment put on my future marriage and covenant relationships in the mighty name of Jesus! I shut the door to the enemy and overturn every demonic assignment to destroy my relationships by the blood of Jesus!
"Thank you, LORD, for quality relationships that help me to build a stronger character and draw me closer to You. Give me courage and grace to let go of detrimental and destructive relationships.
"LORD, help me to love at all times. You said that you shed the love of God in my heart by the Holy Spirit. I open my heart to freely receive and release Your love in the name of Jesus.
"I take authority over and bind the strongman attached to the relationships you have assigned for my life and purpose in the name of Jesus. I break all marital and family curses placed on my life through any spirit of witchcraft or iniquity by the blood of Jesus.
"Father, heal the past wounds and hurts which have controlled my behavior and speech to cause damage in my relationships. Teach me to speak the truth in love in my home, in my church, with my friends and in all my relationships in the name of Jesus.
"I break and release myself from every anti-marriage curse in the name of Jesus.
"Father, I ask You in the name of Jesus Christ to send out Your angels at all corners of the earth on my behalf, and let them bring to me the favor, provisions, blessings, wisdom, and materials needed for my future marriage.
"All evil touch and all evil arrows shot against my family and my relationships are completely neutralized in the name of Jesus.
"I disband the host camping against my home and challenge every association gathered against my family with the fire of God in the name of Jesus. LORD, break the power of evil controlling spirits.
"LORD, reveal to me every secret behind the problems in my relationships. My eyes of understanding have been opened in the name of Jesus.
"LORD, I pray the relationships that you have ordained as part of my destiny that have been broken, wounded, and hurt be restored by the Blood of Jesus. Let the chains of bondage and unforgiveness BREAK in Jesus' name. Amen!"
(The prayer for marriage directly above is from Paula White Ministries & New Destiny Christian Center via paulawhite.org)