Moving "Home" After College

After graduating from Hampton University with my Masters Degree in Architecture, I moved back to my hometown of St. Louis, MO. I had bitter- sweet emotions about coming back to the Midwest from Virginia. Sweet, because I was looking forward to being employed by the company that I had worked for as a collegiate intern, and there were familiar faces of family and friends to welcome me (plus I had a bed to call my own in my old basement room.) The transition was also bitter because I would be tasked with learning many new skills and personalities in the workplace, my older family members/family friends were living their last days on this Earth (seven passed away within two years in town), I adjusted to living as a completely financially independent adult (who exercised, cooked, cleaned and paid bills), and finally, because I had to break through the perceptions that many old acquaintances had of me (I was eighteen years old during the last conversation that many had with me, so clearly, a lot had changed!)

Moving home was comfortable because I knew some of the local hang out places, and there was a group of people that I knew in town... but the comfort became extremely uncomfortable. I began to feel like I was in a time warp; unable to move past the same cliques, habits, and conversations that I dealt with seven years prior. I felt physically, mentally and spiritually stuck. The nostalgia of childhood places and people was stripped away, and what remained was a vast purposelessness, after I reevaluated situations with wiser eyes. Eventually, the task of re-inventing myself in the place where I was born, and then convincing others that I deserve the respect of a professional, generated a great amount of internal growth that I probably would not have gained elsewhere. Commanding acceptable treatment from people who still saw me as a young child, seeking out relationships outside of those that I had scarcely kept since middle school or high school, reconnecting with older adult family friends in a more mature manor, and finding new activities- all presented challenges. I am beyond thankful for the strength and love that the people I met from other places gave to me, so that I could find my inner adult grit while facing new growing pains. I dealt with (and I still deal with) being very singular in many things, in that I am: a junior architect, a female, black, in a long distance relationship with a Navy man, a HBCU graduate, a democratic Christian, living in the town I was raised in, a product of divorce, an only child on my mother's side, one of five on my father's side, a cat owner, a previous dancer/pageant queen, a descendant of farmers, an author of a book about "race", a traveler that has visited four countries and two islands, and currently seeking new friends... locally. All of these characteristics about myself are common-place independently, but together, they make for a seemingly complex person (especially to strangers and people who knew me as a child.) In the end, I was able to hear my own personal voice, better relate to others, effectively disagree with compassion, find my own spiritual circles, focus on diet/health/wellness, create new positive relationships with inspirational women, and eventually, re-connect with childhood friends in a way that would not compromise my newfound values.

To anyone feeling stuck in a rut: learn yourself, choose joy (despite the ever changing life happenings), be grounded in FAITH, and learn to love from a distance when necessary. These are the self preserving qualities that count.

Above are some of my favorite memories from architecture school and the Intern Development Program! College and learning the fundamentals of architecture were some of the most magical times and valuable experiences of my life.