Having an Intimate Marriage in a Wedding Reality TV Show World
Marriage is a big deal. Though wedding ceremonies happen often, and annulments/divorces seem to happen almost as frequently, marriage is still a topic that raises much discussion. American citizens debate, vote, and protest concerning its parameters, but despite the political focus, marriage is still one of the most beautiful unions on this Earth. In my opinion, marriage is:
1) Ministry
2) Dying to yourself and selfish desires, daily
3) Still allowing God to serve as your one true source
4) Allowing God to serve as the intermediary factor, constantly
5) A relationship to give unto another and share a flesh bond
6) A stable foundation for parenthood (which grows the Kingdom of God)
According to The Bible, we read these scriptures about marriage:
Genesis 2:21-25 (NLT)
So the lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the lord God took out one of the man’s ribs Or took a part of the man’s side. and closed up the opening. Then the lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed.“This one is bone from my bone,and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.
Ephesians 5:21-33 (NLT)
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the lord. And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Proverbs 18:22 (NLT)
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the lord.
Mark 10:5- 9 (NLT)
But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Luke 20:34 (NLT)
Jesus replied, “Marriage is for people here on earth..."
1 Corinthians 7:14 (NLT)
For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy.
Judges 14:10 (NLT)
As his father was making final arrangements for the marriage, Samson threw a party at Timnah, as was the custom for elite young men.
Ezekiel 16:8 (NLT)
And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign lord, and you became mine.
1 Corinthians 6:15 -20(NLT)
Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him. Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
1 Corinthians 13:4-14 -12(NLT)
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages Or in tongues. and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. Greek see face to face. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 11:11 -12(NLT)
But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God.
Here are THREE great videos to watch while preparing for marriage and remembering our true life priorities and the mission of unity.
Via: Dephne Madyar
Via: Francis & Lisa Chan
Via: Andy Stanley
With all of that said, the word "wedding" was never mentioned as a necessity. Since the joining of two lives and two completely separate families is a feat within itself, it is understandable that many people want to have lavish celebrations to commemorate this new journey. However, a wedding is not needed in order to have a sincere and godly marriage, by any means. With this in mind, we have decided to make our future commitment under GOD and the GOVERNMENT without GUESTS, in a very intimate fashion to simply "tie-the-knot." I believe that this will help myself and my future spouse keep our priorities focused on God and godly things, the two of us, and our holy union (especially since we are: young, just starting our careers, establishing adult saving habits, yet to move in together, interested in a honeymoon eventually, and have bills to pay.) Thankfully, I also realize that we can always celebrate with others in the future, and can look forward to having a vow renewal once we have more resources. Even more impressively, celebrating our vow renewal celebrates first hand marriage experience and SUCCESSFUL years of marriage under our belts. Here's to a Christian "courthouse wedding!"
With the above priorities in mind, I think that marriages can take shape in a variety of ways since there are so many religious, political, cultural, situational, financial, personal, and couple specific variations that exist. As far as modern tradition goes, I think that all of the following symbolic practices are enjoyable ways to celebrate a union (as long as all other priorities are in order.) The following are fairly common actions (but not necessary events) conducted in order to celebrate two people that God has called together.
Supplemental Wedding Preparation Options for the Twenty First Century
1- A formal engagement 2- Exchanging rings 3- The couple meeting each other's families 4- The two families meeting each other 5- Hosting an engagement party 6- Purchasing/renting a wedding dress 7- Purchasing/renting a tuxedo 8- Bridal and engagement photos 9- Creating a guest list 10- Sending save-the-dates & invites & thank yous 11- Creating a wedding registry and attending wedding shows 12- Having bachelorette & bachelor parties 13- Writing customized vows 14- Selecting wedding colors and venues
15- Reading marital books 16- Attending pre- engagement counseling
17- Attending pre- marital counseling 18- Select bridesmaids, groomsmen etc. 19- Selecting bridesmaids dresses 20- Selecting groomsmen's suits 21- Hosting a wedding rehearsal 22- Wedding photos and videography 23- Hiring a wedding planner 24- Hiring a florist 25- Hiring a DJ or musicians 26- Hiring an officiant 27- Hiring a makeup & hair artist 28- Hiring a manicurist 29- Renting a hotel block for guests 30- Renting a hotel room for the couple 31- Utilizing a church or banquet hall 32- Having a wedding ceremony
• Someone giving away the bride
• Sand combination ceremony • Candle lighting ceremony • Washing each other's feet • Jumping the broom • Providing a guest book
33- Having a wedding reception
• Meal catering • Bridal party gifts • Attendance favors • Wedding cake • Couple's first dance • Father daughter dance • Mother son dance • Line dances • Throwing the bouquet & garter
• Providing a bar
34- Taking a honeymoon 35- Changing the bride's last name 36- Taking out a loan or going into debt 37- Announcing the union in a public form 38- Moving in with a significant other 39- Attending marital counseling 40- Having a child/children together