Joining A Pinky Promise Group
Godly relationships with equally yoked believers are imperative to staying focused, keeping accountability, and sharing like- interests with others. The Pinky Promise Movement, founded by Minister Heather Lindsey of The Gathering Oasis Church in Atlanta, GA, is a resource for inspirational videos, blog posts, and a network to find other Christian young women (to speak with digitally or in a local group meeting setting.) Below is one of my first interactions with the website, and since then, it has been a very fruitful year after sewing new and positive seeds!
"Dealing with Faithlessness"
Person 1:
Hey ladies. I have decided to honor God with my life and my body. I know that God is our true Father and that having a husband is not the only thing that validates women, but I've struggled with male relationships since I didn't have a constant "father" role model around (divorce and separations). I know that this is a common situation- but as an adult, I'm starting to see more evidence on how the parenting situation could have affected me. Has anyone else found this to be true? Does anyone have any coping mechanisms besides celibacy and prayer (and seeking out godly relationships)?
Person 2:
I grew up without a Father and a mother who worked so much she was too tired to pay attention. I resented them both for a while blaming my past on their lack of effort in my Life. Not only has God taught me that I've had a father all along (The Lord) but He also is the one who gave me a standard to hold to the man that would one day be my husband (Man of God) and gave me a standard of what I as a woman should hold myself to (Proverbs 31). See, I blamed them for my misfortunes and me not overcoming my circumstances but falling victim, but in Christ we are VICTORS. He took all my past and mistakes and taught me from them, making me a NEW creation. I thank Him that I don't Idolize my parents and haven't followed their customs. "The same water that hardens the egg softens the potatoes." Your past circumstances do not define you, how you choose to overcomes them does. The enemy loves to have us wallowing in on past playing the blame game, nope. Rise above sis, you shall overcome... what helped me cope was spending time with God. I had NO one else at the period in time so it was easier. Just quiet time with God getting to know His heart (reading The Word or listening to worship) even if you sit in a room completely alone with music playing until you feel the spirit he will show you so many things. I pray, asking God to bring to surface the things of my heart which do not belong, and to remove everything not of Him. When we kill our flesh we need to be filled back up with the Holy spirit... and He will lead you in all things- how and when to do things.
Person 3:
Honestly, I didn't realize the role of a father until I was in my late 20s. It wasn't until I was exposed to other cultures. I remember when I was stuck at work due to a snow storm while my white coworker talked about her father coming to the job to dig her car out. I was like "WOW, I've been doing for myself for so long that I didn't realize people had that luxury!" I really feel it when I go to the car shop for repairs. But the more I put my trust in The Lord, the more I see that He is all I need. I go to Him for the little things. Even when I want to lift something extremely heavy in my apt, the Lord will give me an idea to help.
Person 1:
Those were great ideas, ladies. A father is an important role, and even if we have been forced to be independent, we can't act like men have no purpose. We just have to fill that fatherly void with Jesus, and everything works out for the good. Thanks!
(The above script is an anonymous conversation from the Pinky Promise website's discussion board. It dramatically changed the way I viewed life, operated daily, and offered much needed support.)
Personally, it took me a while to accept that there was an issue with my father being absent in my life as a child (in a society where "independent women" and "single parenting" is almost glorified), and to ultimately heal from the situation, and be cordial towards the man who created me. With my dad, I've accepted that he didn't raise me or my siblings in a customary way, and that his actions did play into the negative black man stereotypes that society has cast, (though he was educated and knew better than to abandon children since he had two active parents and step- parents.) Thankfully, all of my siblings and I turned out well, we had moms with priorities, we now have a relationship with our father as adults, and we understand that things could have been much worse in life as far as parenting is concerned.
Since my father was not a constant support system in the past (emotionally or financially) I have learned to not expect consistency from him now, though he is in my life. I have learned to put my trust in Jesus and see Him as my true Father, both spiritually and earthly. Jesus is now the example that I have for a proper husband and father to my children, unlike much of society who promotes finding a spouse based on the example that parents set. I'm learning to trust the Lord and trust my future husband with his actions in order to break any ungodly generational curses in the marriage category, and to display to our future off-springs how to live a godly life through the thick and the thin. Blessings.